(In)different
by Rein Yuujiro
Summary: Some pieces of Free; BL.


**Hi i thought i should let you guys know, i stopped writing. So i'm publishing my last pieces. But feel free to PM me or leave a review.**

**Free isn't mine.**

* * *

**_1. I shouldn't love you. (Just s_****_o you know is _****_Jesse McCartney's_**

"Eh? Nagisa can't come?! Why?" the three of us said in shock receiving a call from the pale blond haired boy. _"Sorry guys! I got a fever this morning... cough, have fun at the beach, Mako-chan, Rin-chan, Haru-chan!"_

Rin pressed the red button on his phone to end the call, "So? Should we cancel our trip... or? I say we go! I wanna race with Haru!" Rin's slender arms hooked around Haruka's neck pressing them close; too close. Well I guess that's normal.

How many months has it been? 2... 3, or maybe 4 months since they started dating.

"Lets just go, we're already at the train station anyway, right Makoto?" those blue ocean eyes looked at me for approval.

_Maybe I'm the one who wants to love you_

"Right," I smiled.

_When I__know you don't love me back._

_.:Free:._

"This trip is going to be fun!" said Rin as he held Haruka's hand tightly. The train wasn't really crowded so the purple haired boy could shout freely. "Right, Haru? I'm so happy we could go on a date to the beach!"

"This isn't a date Rin, a _trip_. Makoto is with us and stop being childish." Haruka on the other hand didn't care, all he wants is to swim in the ocean.

"Aww come on! Don't be a party-pooper, Haru!" Rin smiled showing his white shark-like-teeth. Haruka didn't reply, he looked at me.

"Makoto? What's wrong? Are you sick?"

_I don't know._

"I'm fine."

_I don't know how to be fine when i'm not._

"Really?"

_You really wanna know why, Haru?_

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

_It's because I don't know how to make this feeling stop._

_.:Free:._

"The sea!" Rin immediately ran to the sea, soaking his legs in the damp beach sands. Haruka on the other hand stripped right away first before running to the sea, joining Rin who hasn't stripped yet.

"You cheater! Wait until I strip first!" Rin scolded Haruka then ran back to our post, "Makoto, you aren't swimming?"

"No, I'm actually feeling a little sick... it's okay, I'm gonna guard our things here!" I managed to form a smile to convince Rin that i'm really okay.

"Whaaat?! Why didn't you tell us?" the purple haired boy furrowed his brows, he shouted to Haruka who was swimming at the sea, "Oi Haru!"

Noticing that Rin called him, Haruka ran back to our post, "Whats wrong?"

"Makoto said that he's feeling a little sick," Rin sighed, "I'm gonna go to the toilet for a bit. Talk to him." he patted Haruka's shoulder as he went away to the toilet.

"So... you really are sick, why didn't you tell us?" Haruka sat beside me, hugging his knees. I looked at him, watching his eyes sparkle as he stared at the ocean.

_I shouldn't see you_

"I'm fine, it's not that serious, Haru. You brought your handycam right? I could film this trip!"

_But i can't move_.

"Yeah," Haruka opened his bag and gave me his handycam. "Make sure you film us all, okay?" then our eyes met.

_I'm afraid that I'll fall for you again_.

"No problem!" and again I smiled.

_But why can't I look away?_

___.:Free:._

The sun was about to set. Us three sat near the beach lines. Me, Haruka in the middle, and Rin. Well, I was filming the sunset while the other two was holding hands.

"The sunset here is always beautiful, don't you think?" I started the conversation, "Right? Haru? Rin?" nobody replied. It was always me and me alone.

_It's getting hard to breath around you._

Because their lips are busy feeling each other.

_There's so much I can't say._

_.:Free:._

Time flies when you're having fun. Fun? Well I didn't had fun but time flew fast anyway, it was time to go home now.

Rin and Haru were buying food and drinks for our trip back while I was standing on the side of the road filming the beach for the last time and saying things about this trip.

It was our last year of Junior High so i pretty much have a lot things to say about these past years, about us-the four of us.

But it was my fault.

I was too busy saying things that I didn't heard Haruka called from afar,

"Makoto! Watch out!"

That's when a blinding light flashed before me. And after that, everything went black.

_.:Free:._

A year passed since the death of Makoto Tachibana. Rin and Haruka agreed to never talk or see the video about the trip these past 12 months. They were High School students now, Haruka decided to go to Iwatobi High while Rin went overseas to Australia.

But today, the 365th day since Makoto's death, Haruka decided to watch the video on the handy cam, Alone. Luckily the handy cam was safe in Makoto's arms when the accident occurred.

The first 1 hour of the video was when they were swimming, playing beach volley, eating popsicles and even when Rin was flirted by 2 girls. Then the video showed the sunset. Haruka still think it was breathtaking even after one year. Then the next one showed a view of the beach at night right before his bestfriend's death. Haruka couldn't take it, he doesn't want to see this scene. He was about to stop the video when he heard Makoto's voice,

_"Hey, Haruka, Rin... I know we're gonna watch this after this trip so I'm going to say sorry beforehand..._

_...just so you know, this feeling is taking control of me and i can't help it. And this is our last year on Junior High so I, uh, just so you know after this all of my words means nothing okay?_

_...I like you Haru..._

_...I know you have Rin and I'm sorry Rin, I have to say this. And promise me, you guys don't ever fight okay? Or else I'm taking Haru, got that Rin?! Hahaha, I'm only joking, take it easy Rin. You guys promise me that, okay?_

_...I like you Haru, I really really do more than anything, so I'm going to give up..._

_...just so you know."_

_"Makoto! Watch out!"_

And the video went black.

Haruka didn't understand. _Why? _Why didn't Makoto told him sooner? Why didn't he said something when Haruka and Rin were hugging, holding hands, and even worse, kissing? Didn't it hurt? After all this time he...

Haruka still didn't understand why his tears wasn't stopping,

"Sorry Makoto... things with Rin now aren't going well as I promised you."

* * *

_**2. (In)different [Posted th**__**is **__**on tumblr f**__****__****__**or Ar**__****__****__****__**isu's **_**_b_**_**irthday**_]

He lost.

_'I lost...?'_

Haru looked down, hearing the rest of Samezuka swim team cheering for the one and only Matsuoka Rin. He actually didn't know how to feel that moment. Sad? Just because he didn't advance? Or should he be happy because Rin, finally, beat him?

Does that mean all of this is over? The whole I can't move on thing? The whole swim for me talk?

More importantly, does this mean that they're going to swim like they used to back in Junior High?

"Haru!"

_'Rin? Aren't you happy? Aren't you happy that you won?'_

"I win."

_'Does this really mean that we could—'_

"This means I'll never swim with you again."

Haru was dumbfounded.

"Never."

Haru was told that everything happens for a reason. That there's no such thing as coincidence. Well bulshit. Fuck that. Fuck fate. Would someone goddamn tell Haru that Rin won was just a mere coincidence? That Rin was supposed to lose and thing would go back to normal? Someone? No?

And could someone explain why Haru ran after Rin? Why Haru have to call his name in this narrow hallway? And why, why does Rin have to look back at Haru?

"What?" he smirked, "I don't want to talk to a loser."

"Why?"

You are persistent aren't you, Haru?

The purple haired boy lifted a brow, "Huh?"

"What..." Haru furrowed his brows and eyes full of questions. "What happens after you moved on?"

Rin scoffed, "Of course I don't have to swim with you anymore." he lifted both of his shoulders.

"...aren't we all going back to the way we are before after you won?"

Samezuka's Ace sighed. "Back to our Junior days?" piercing purple orbs looked into Haru's sky blue. He opened his mouth revealing his white shark teeth, "What makes you think that I will do that?"

With that, Rin turned, his back facing a shocked Haru. Knowing his old friend didn't talk back, he took a step forward.

"I'll tell you."

"Wha—? Haru I told you I don't want to talk to—"

"I'll tell you what's different from you and me."

Rin turned back once again only to see Haru facing down. He stood there in silent, waiting for his opponent to talk.

"What's different from you and me now are... how we change."

That word caught Rin's attention.

"You... you changed Rin. Ever since we graduated Junior High, you changed. You used to love swimming. Now? Is swimming only a competition to you? Your dad loved swimming right? He loved the water that's why he choosed to be a fisherman right? Then why...?"

Haru, you know the answer. Stop being dumb.

"Stop talking like you know everything!" Rin half shouted. "Look Haru, I don't have time to answer all of your stupid question so..." he sighed,

"Grow up, Haru."

And again, Rin turned back.

Haru let out a sarcastic laugh but his voice was cracking.

"Then I'll tell you what's different from me now."

And for the last time Rin turned back. But now it was different. He saw drops of tears running down from Haru's sky blue eyes. But the sky wasn't shining bright, it was raining. All of his emotions piled up, he was angry and sad the same time. It was more like a typhoon at the sea, like the big waves crashing on the rocks and like the wind blowing away all of the memories.

"My feeling towards you, Rin."


End file.
